Prayer, Pain, and Splash-overs of Heaven

Joni Eareckson Tada on Unanswered Petition

For almost 45 years, Joni Eareckson Tada has lived an extraordinary life in a wheelchair. Her story and ministry have inspired millions around the world to see disability and suffering in a redemptive way (joniandfriends.org). While she’s written extensively on these issues, an unexpected, ongoing struggle with chronic pain led to her newest book, A Place of Healing. Joni recently spoke with In Touch about what she’s learned during this difficult season, and what God may be up to when He doesn’t answer prayer the way we hope He will.

In Touch: What do you think God wants to accomplish when we’ve prayed for something that we know is consistent with His character—such as healing—but He doesn’t give the answer we want?

Joni Eareckson Tada: God is heaven-bent on making us more like Christ. He can use anything—be it a broken neck, a broken heart, a broken home. Suffering has a way of uncomfortably revealing to us the things inside us that need to be transformed. When I’m not in pain, I think I’m a very likeable individual. But when pain continues to squeeze me, it’s like squeezing a lemon! Out comes this sour attitude, this pessimistic anxiety, this fear of the future. That’s when I have to realize that these are things God desires to change in me.

How have your prayers evolved during this new kind of “desert experience”?

JET: I’ve gotten pretty good at coping with quadriplegia, but getting “used to” constant, driving pain? That’s something else. Before, I’d pray for grace to maximize each day. But with the pain, I was finding myself praying moment by moment for survival: “I need deliverance—for You to do something as quickly as possible.” But I’ve also come to see pain as a sheepdog that snaps and nips at my heels down the road to Calvary. It drives me into the arms of Jesus every morning, where I otherwise don’t think I’d naturally be as quick to go. And that’s when I know there’s always something fresh and unique about Him that He wants to reveal.

So when I wake up to crippling pain, I might say, “Okay, Lord, what do You want me to see about You today that I haven’t discovered yet?” The pain then becomes a fellowship of sharing in His sufferings, and then I do find something new. For me—and I think for most people—revelation happens in the ragged, sharp-edged world of pain and affliction. That’s where we come to understand more of what the cross is really all about.

What have you personally been learning as you continue to wrestle with something you’ve prayed God would take away?

JET: I had breast cancer last year. One day when I was coming home from chemo, my husband Ken and I were talking about “splash-overs” of hell. I’ve always said that suffering is like a little splash-over of hell, reminding us of what Christ rescued us from—like a tiny taste of what life could be like for all of eternity, were it not for God’s graciousness. So we started talking about what splash-overs of heaven are; the places or times when there’s no suffering and life is breezy and things are going our way . . . but then we decided nope, splashovers of heaven are not that. They’re not the mountaintop experiences. Splash-overs of heaven are when you find Jesus in the splash-over of hell. It was so encouraging to suddenly feel that powerful little insight take root in my heart.

So instead of trying to be so quick to escape pain—even as I keep praying for change—I’ve been learning to be quick to sit and wait and see what satisfaction the Lord will give. I know that yielding to Him and patiently waiting on Him is winning me “an eternal glory that far outweighs [it] all” (2 Cor. 4:17 niv). When I stick with Him in “the fellowship of His sufferings” (Phil. 3:10), I’m increasing my capacity for joy and worship and service, and that draws me closer to Jesus. It gives such meaning to the pain.

You talk with, and receive so many letters from, people going through hardship. What do they need to hear most from God when He’s not answering their prayer the way they want Him to?

JET: I think what most people are hungry for is assurance that God is listening and that He cares. We just want to know He’s involved, that He’s compassionate. It’s like when a little kid falls off his bike, hurts himself, and cries out for Daddy. She can ask her father why he can’t make the pain go away, but an explanation isn’t really what that child wants most. That child wants Daddy to pick her up and say, “I’m here, sweetie. I’m with you.” I think that’s what we really want. We don’t want answers so much as we want to be assured that God is our daddy and that He really, truly has heard us.

So maybe the heart of it all is seeking Him as the Healer rather than an actual outcome.

JET: Yes. Much more than answers to prayer, we need Him to be our Answer. More than all the counsel or words—no matter how good and right and true—what we need to know the most is Jesus Himself as the Answer.

–Erin Gieschen