When Love Tarries

Trusting God When He Doesn’t Make Sense

By Joanna Weaver

Of all the difficult things to understand in life, nothing’s more perplexing than those moments God doesn’t show up in the way we think He should. The way we were taught He would.

I’m certain my Sunday school teachers never intended to teach a formulaic Christianity—one of spiritual equations that, if carefully adhered to, would assure us a lifetime of prosperity and happiness. A kind of “if I do this, then the Lord will have to do that” approach to life. But somehow that’s what I picked up through their lessons.

After all, the Bible stories my teachers told always seemed to end well. Little David stood up to a mighty giant, and eventually God made him Israel’s greatest earthly king. Moses obeyed God and led the Israelites out of slavery into a promised land flowing with milk and honey. All the complicated details left out, each tale seemed so neat and sweet and two-dimensional on Mrs. Everard’s flannel board. We always sipped our juice and munched cookies in relative ease because we knew how the story would end. Serving the Lord meant that if we just obeyed, He would make everything turn out great. Of course we would follow Him always.

But then I grew up and discovered that real life is rarely so tidy, and happy endings often take more time to develop than we’d like. Not to say I don’t still believe that “God causes all things to work together for good to those who love [Him], to those who are called according to His purpose” (Rom. 8:28). But I’ve learned that life in this world will always include some crooked things that tend to mess up the straight path we expect to travel between points A and B. Even when we follow Christ, we will experience extended, twisting timelines that test our faith as prayers remain unanswered and our hearts are tempted to doubt.

Waiting for a Savior

It was one of those crooked kind of days when Jesus’ close friends Martha and Mary sent word to Him that their brother was deathly ill (John 11:3). Their emotions must have run the gamut between fear and hope as they wiped Lazarus’ brow and waited for the Lord to come. Then all would be well.

Lazarus must have thought the same.

They’d all heard of and witnessed so many of Jesus’ compassionate, miraculous healings. With just a touch, He made the lame walk and the blind see. And with just a word, He’d even healed people at a distance (Matt. 8:13; 15:28). Nothing was beyond His ability.

Yet as Lazarus’ sickness worsened, his concern must have too. Ancient Jewish culture was deeply patriarchal, and it’s likely his sisters were dependent on him as the only male in their immediate family. If he died, what would happen to Martha and Mary? And then, Jesus chose not to come. He actually waited, instead of immediately hurrying to Bethany to restore His friend’s health. Neither did He send word that Lazarus would be healed—He simply said, “This sickness is not to end in death, but for the glory of God” (John 11:4). So, for someone who’d previously known only confidence in Jesus’ love and power, the confusion must have anguished Lazarus as time ran out. He must have wondered, Does Jesus really love us as much as we love Him? Is He really who we thought He was?

The Winding Path

Such questions tend to haunt us on crooked days, when answers to prayer feel a million miles away. At times like these, it’s important to remember we’re not the first to feel confused or discouraged as Christ-followers. “I thought it had been an easy thing to be a Christian,” theologian Samuel Rutherford wrote nearly three centuries ago. “But oh, the windings, the turnings, the ups and the downs that He has led me through.”

The struggles of a life submitted to God are clearly portrayed throughout Scripture, but somehow this reality doesn’t always make it into Sunday school lessons. So we may feel blindsided the first time life throws a wrench into our vision of the Christian experience. Yet the longer we walk with the Lord, the more we discover that the path leading to the “promise” is rarely straight. And when it comes to following a schedule—at least on our terms—God often seems to dawdle.

Take David, for instance. Had I been a shepherd chosen and anointed king by God’s prophet, I’d have immediately packed my bags and ordered my crown. But David apparently went back to tending sheep and awaited God’s direction. It would be many years before the shepherd would take the throne. And the route to the palace would include hiding in caves as a fugitive—a time when David actually learned the leadership skills he was later known for. And then there’s Moses’ story. I’m certain that, as an Egyptian prince, he never expected exile and 40 years on the backside of the desert would be necessary to make him the man God would use to lead the Israelites out of slavery.

Considering those who’ve gone before us, we shouldn’t be surprised at the rough terrain and roadblocks we encounter on our journeys. While we may not understand why the Lord allows us to walk through fire and floods, it’s important to remember that His intentions are to turn them into good for our lives and His glory. These seeming impossibilities may be for us the beginning of a greater revelation of God.

To Believe or Not to Believe

When Jesus finally did arrive in Bethany, Lazarus had been dead four days. Four days of the devastation that comes from hope being completely dashed. But when Martha heard Jesus was coming down the road, she left the houseful of mourners and ran out to meet Him. “Lord,” she said, “if You had been here, my brother would not have died. Even now I know that whatever You ask . . . God will give You” (John 11:21-22).

What an amazing statement of faith! In the midst of great pain and sorrow, she hands Him the quill and asks Him to write the rest of the story. “That was what I had wanted,” she seems to say, “but Your will be done.” What a beautiful pattern for prayer—and for life.

Jesus’ answer to her is nothing short of history-altering revelation: “I am the resurrection and the life; he who believes in Me will live even if he dies, and everyone who lives and believes in Me will never die” (11:25-26). Then He asks a crucial question: “Do you believe this?” It’s as if He’s asking her, “Do you believe that there’s more to this life beyond what you see now? Do you believe I can overcome death? Martha, do you believe?”

This is the crucial question we must all answer as we stand before the impossible. Will we believe or let the fog of pain obliterate our sense of God’s presence in our lives? Will we trust Him no matter what or give into disillusionment and doubt? Will we choose faith in God over faith in an outcome?

The importance of this question can’t be overstated, because the depth of our relationship with the Lord depends on its answer. Until we allow God to be God, we act as if He is our servant and are sure to be disappointed in the consequences of such delusion. If we fail to surrender our agendas, wish lists, and master plans to Him, we’ll never see Christ as He truly is—or personally experience Him as our resurrection and life.

As she stood before Jesus, Martha’s faith was strong, as was her proclamation: “Yes, Lord; I have believed that You are the Christ, the Son of God” (11:27). But the cold, stinking reality of her brother’s tomb wore down her readiness to follow His will. Wavering, she balked at His request for the stone door to be rolled away. Jesus reminded her, “Did I not say to you that if you believe, you will see the glory of God?” (11:40).

Those words have echoed in my heart over the past several years. There’s still a tomb in my life the Lord has chosen not to open. But in order to see His glory, I’m having to trust that He can make something new out of that which is dead and gone. Though I may grieve what once was, if I want to experience all that God has for me now, I need to place my hand in His and walk forward rather than constantly look back.

Martha’s willingness to hope was met with an astounding miracle. Lazarus walked out of his tomb in a moment so glorious that it foreshadowed Jesus’ own victory over death—His resurrection three days after being crucified. Might Lazarus and his sisters have remembered God’s miraculous work in their lives and hoped for more, even when the whole world seemed to go dark?

When we let go of spiritual formulas and equations and choose to trust, we eventually find that the Lord has been busy truly working all things together for our good. When we believe in Him—in His goodness and unchanging love—we’ll see His glory in ways we otherwise never would. Now, that’s a Sunday school lesson worth remembering.