Restoration Through Forgiveness

Letting Go of Resentment

By Charles F. Stanley

November starts the season for family gatherings, which, despite all the glossy greeting cards and television ads, is often a time for revisiting old conflicts. Most people don’t realize the cost of holding on to bitterness. They imagine that if their grudge is justified, they have the right to nurture it. Harboring anger is an understandable reaction to life’s hurts, but resentment takes a horrible toll on our relationships, health, and fellowship with God. No wonder the Bible instructs us to deal quickly with this potentially destructive emotion.

Ephesians 4:26-27 offers a threefold warning. First, we are told, “Be angry, and yet do not sin.” In other words, don’t give in to rage and resentment towards another person. Second, “Do not let the sun go down on your anger.” God does not want us to go to sleep at night without dealing with the hostility we felt that day. Finally, “Do not give the devil an opportunity.” Tragically, we sometimes become upset unnecessarily because we misunderstood another person’s words or motives.

If we let bitterness linger, it will wreak destruction in our lives and harm those around us. Anger breaks our fellowship with God and robs us of peace. It also destroys relationships with other people and leads to emotional isolation, frustration, and anxiety. If left untended, animosity can turn into chronic fatigue and depression.

Because it is so detrimental, anger grieves the Lord. Hostility does not fit who we are as children of God. It hinders His work, in that those who harbor resentment are often unwilling to obey His voice. The Father will not pour out His full blessing on an angry person.

Therefore, I encourage you to think about how this powerful emotion might affect your relationships during the coming weeks. If you are clinging to bitterness or carrying the burden of an unresolved conflict, pray earnestly for the strength to forgive. If you are willing to let go of resentment, you will experience healing. Forgiveness just might save your job, your marriage, or another important relationship. One thing is certain: Letting go of anger will keep you from self-destruction. Why not give it a try today?